


By no-one

by GrumpyJenn



Series: Real Person FICTION - That Last is Important [3]
Category: Doctor Who RPF, Mattex - Fandom
Genre: A couple of f-bombs, F/M, Hence T not G
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-18
Updated: 2013-12-18
Packaged: 2018-01-05 01:25:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1087954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrumpyJenn/pseuds/GrumpyJenn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oh, you know, angst. AU of the real world. The usual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	By no-one

"Don't be stupid," Alex snapped in a tone very unlike her, and Matt blinked, "You've a hundred times the fanbase I do."

"Me? Kingston, you're the daft woman all those people follow round online. Look." He spun the laptop around so she could see the sheer volume of fans she had. "That's _one_ page on Tumblr alone, mind, and you haven't even seen the other sites."

Alex's eyes filled. He couldn't possibly understand, not this golden boy in his prime. She was fading as an actress, a mother, a _woman_ ; she knew it, everyone knew it, look at Florian  and R... why wouldn't he just _say_ so? But he was grasping her wrist and tugging gently until she had no choice but to let him hug her. _Pity_ , she thought. _Pity and misplaced fondness for a woman old enough to be his..._

"Don't cry, Alex," Matt murmured, the words muffled by her hair, long-fingered hands stroking her shoulders.

"I c-can't help it. I've a right to my own feelings. And I feel wretched, because nobody w-wants..." _Oh God, what did I almost just say to him!?_  Alex thought desperately, _He mustn't know how I... not that it would matter because bitterness and irrationality are so attractive._..

Surprisingly, she felt rather than heard him chuckle into the cloud of hair, and then he very gently pulled away to look at her. _And I'm a mess, lovely, mascara everywhere.._.

"Kingston, the fans, they love you." _Kind of him, but it's not true, it_ can't _be, not when nobody who_ knows _me does..._

"They don't love _me_. They love River Song, or Elizabeth Corday or bloody fucking Moll No-knickers Flanders!" But he was shaking his head.

"No," Matt said, and his voice cracked. He cleared his throat and tried again. "You are loved. By so many, and so much." Alex saw him swallow hard as he put his own feelings on the line. "And by no-one more than me."

She stared. _No. It's not. He can't. I..._ "That's cruel, Matthew," she said quietly, and watched his expression war between despair and longing. 

"Not when I mean it."

"Oh, how could you? You can't, I'm too old and you never _said_ , and I..."

"I never said because I was waiting, Alex," he interrupted, and hauled her in, kissing her bruisingly on the lips. "Waiting for you to realise that I'm an adult, that it's not just some fucking fancy for Mrs. Robinson." His expression was furious, his eyes hopeful, his tone despairing, and he let her go, turning away, clenching his fists over and over as he struggled to calm himself.

 _He really does. Oh my God, he really does_. Alex reached out tentatively for Matt's hand, tugging at it as he had hers until he turned to face her. His expression was tightly controlled, and oh God... _oh, sweetie, your, I...oh, God, I didn't mean to hurt you..._ "C-can you forgive me, Matt?" _If he can't, or won't, then I've done irreparable damage, and I don't... I don't think I could bear that._

But he was talking, and what he said...

"Always. And completely."


End file.
